1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,640 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 2 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,000 Now, sis, do it. Do it now! No! 3 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,600 Do it! (YELLS) 4 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,920 You alright? Oi! 5 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:18,920 What are you doing? 6 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,040 If I had £1,000 I would buy... 7 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,480 ..Brazilian Yaki hair, like Beyonce, 8 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,080 a lip reduction, red velvet cupcakes, 9 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,920 probably a dustpan and brush for this place. 10 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,360 I mean, look at it. It's boring. There's not even crime 'ere. 11 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:36,560 It's like some fake-arse estate. S'like Diet Cola. It's diluted. 12 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,960 Y'know, forget the dustpan, I'd buy a train ticket and I'd just get out 13 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,000 'cause I am trying to be something worthwhile while I'm alive, 14 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,320 you know what I mean? 15 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,080 And these brick walls, they're dragging me back, man. 16 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:51,040 Yeah, I'm like a rose, tryna grow out of mud. 17 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,800 I was born a big thinker, I'm very wise, 18 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,280 you know, my mind is bare agile. 19 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,320 I'm fast, you know what I mean? 20 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,360 Got my ear to da ground so I'm alert at all times. 21 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,040 Tracey... 22 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,280 I ain't even being vain... Off we go. 23 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,720 ..I just am...special. 24 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,360 Tracey! (SCOFFS) 25 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,800 Just keep breathing now. Keep brea... 26 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,240 Oh. What? 27 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,800 Let's go, have a look. 28 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,720 They've fucking done it! Bastards! 29 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:23,160 Uhbuggarshshinewarreday. 30 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,880 I'm a bit busy right now, you know? 31 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:28,120 Ooh, eew! (LAUGHS LEWDLY) 32 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:33,720 Yeah, there'll be dots in the mud 33 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:37,960 for any one of us 34 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:41,920 just get your wings out 35 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:45,400 get your wriggle on 36 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,000 37 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,160 Anything else? Uh, no, just the salad, thanks. 38 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,240 Is that Brazilian? 39 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,680 Oh, do you know, I'm not even sure, I've lost count. 40 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:02,600 They've practically got their own wardrobe. 41 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,200 Looks real. 42 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,240 Thank you. Wait, Tracey? 43 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,920 We went to the same school, I was a couple years below you. 44 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:10,960 Meisha? 45 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,480 Oh, yeah. You right? 46 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,280 Oh, the big boss has me running out buying coffees and salads 47 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,560 every five minutes. 48 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,840 What d'you..? Oh, what don't I? 49 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,880 Personal assistant to the boss, marketing manager, sales exec, 50 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:25,440 no sleep, but there are a shitload of perks. 51 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:29,720 I don't like sleazy Stacey, I like chocolate Tracey, 52 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,360 I wanna...I wanna lock her in the boot of my car, 53 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,880 I wanna drive her beyond the most distant star. 54 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:42,320 Look at that. Huh. This is my boyfriend, Connor. 55 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:43,560 Safe. 56 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:47,240 You two look very...cute together. 57 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,520 (WHISPERS) It's quite a new relationship. 58 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,920 Connor, what are ya doing? 59 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:56,720 My mum wants it. 60 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,920 Ah, so Connor, what is it that you do? 61 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:02,440 We were just talking jobs and stuff. 62 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:03,840 I'm a poet. 63 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:07,480 Ah, wasteman? I've been there. (CHUCKLES) 64 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,200 Listen, my boss is holding a recruitment drive 65 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,680 for the sales team. 66 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,480 You should get down there, you were always really nice. 67 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,600 See ya. 68 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,800 Winsley Cosmetics. 69 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,200 Bye. 70 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,800 CANDICE: Oh. 71 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,200 Why? 72 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,040 Police raided George the Giant's flat, left the door open, innit, 73 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,200 so we cleaned up. 74 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,960 Why were these in his flat? 75 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,040 So this why ya couldn't cover my shift. 76 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:47,360 Yeah. I'm gonna glue them together and make a big one. 77 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:48,560 (BOTH LAUGH) 78 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,760 I had to get my sister in. 79 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,120 Cynthia? 80 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,040 Next, please. 81 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,240 Yeah, she'll be alright. 82 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,440 BOTH: Yeah. 83 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,880 'Cause I don't know if I can go back you know, now I know could go places 84 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,840 like, if I... Well, if I get it. 85 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,240 'Course will, babe. 86 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,440 That's why Meisha wants you at the perfume recruitment today. 87 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:17,720 Yeah, but she's not the big boss, you know, the big boss, he's like... 88 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,240 ..he's big. 89 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:20,960 Alright, I'll see ya later. 90 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,320 Where you going? To the recruitment. 91 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,520 You gotta change, you silly bugger. 92 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,960 I am changed. This is what I'm wearing. 93 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:40,120 Welcome to Winsley Cosmetics. How are you doing, madam? 94 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:41,960 Would you like to try this nice perfume? 95 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,520 This is actually our latest release, yeah... 96 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,120 Your husband will love this one, mine does... 97 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,200 Welcome to Winsley Cosmetics. 98 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,520 (EXHALES) 99 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,880 Hi, welcome to Winsley Cosmetics, would you like to try this? 100 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,400 H-hello! Perfume! P-perfume! 101 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,960 OK, so, um, what we try to do at Winsley 102 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,320 is create an inviting atmosphere for the clients. 103 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,480 Mm-hm. Oh, hello, welcome to Winsley Cosmetics. 104 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,640 Your husband will love me, mine does. 105 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,120 No, I said that wrong. I said that... Ah... Ah... 106 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:14,440 (WOMAN CLEARS THROAT) 107 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,400 What is it? Perfume. 108 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,880 The brand? 109 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,600 Oh, yeah, yeah... Ah... 110 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,000 Yeah, it's called uh... Unmai Yo De Pum Pum. 111 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:27,120 (WHISPERS) Ennemis hairont. 112 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,760 Yeh me ho ho puff pum yum. Enemies will hate. 113 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,920 Oh, my God, you ain't even sayin' the whole thing, though! 114 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:33,640 Enemies will hate eau de parfum. 115 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,640 Look, no-one in this country is gonna buy this, it don't say perfume. 116 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,480 How they gonna know it's perfume? That... 117 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:43,400 Good point. I'll, um, I'll make a note of that. 118 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:44,720 Cool. 119 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:48,720 Oh, ay, oh, to Big Boss? Tell him Tracey said it. 120 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,680 We'll be in touch. 121 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,880 Smashed it. 122 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:59,320 just to be here 123 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,600 this back to life 124 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,760 this back to life 125 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,520 126 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,600 right by my side. 127 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:22,520 Fucking Jesus...smack him in the ass, stuck his cock in my fucking ear! 128 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:26,360 Devil talks to me. 129 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:30,120 Grogg in my Jesus cock ear, 130 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,760 rinkeedink goo. 131 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,160 I worship Satan. 132 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:38,320 Saboo. I will fear no evil... 133 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,280 Mary is whore of Joseph... ..when you're with me. 134 00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,800 ..and your stars will comfort me. God is a whore... 135 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,400 ..Satan burned Him... Jesus Christ hallelujah! 136 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,240 ..in the darkness of the fire legion. Blood of Jesus 137 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,360 washes over this shop. Get away! And I am many. 138 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,920 Get away from me! I am many! 139 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,080 Why would anyone have this many dildos? 140 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:12,760 This is a business opportunity. Everything is worth a profit, yeah? 141 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,520 I'm an employed by Winsley Cosmetics, 142 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,200 we are selling the smell of cow dung in a box 143 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,440 and people with fully working nostrils are buying 'em. 144 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:19,960 So? So sell 'em. 145 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,560 To who? These lot. Here. 146 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,600 Have a girl's night, invite every woman on the estate, 147 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:25,760 do all the pink stuff. 148 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:28,400 Some of them...ain't fresh. 149 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,040 They're used. They're second-hand. 150 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,440 What? They ain't that bad, are they? 151 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,280 (GAGS) Wow. 152 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,400 Yeah. AA batteries and STIs included. 153 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:44,080 OK, well, as a business woman I can give you a business model. 154 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,880 OK, follow. 155 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:49,320 You, the seller, have a problem - 150 dildos with BO. 156 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,120 Seller, buyer, problem, OK? 157 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,280 Now what I could do is go round the houses, 158 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,880 with FTSE analysing and diagrams but... 159 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,520 ..what I propose to you is this - 160 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,280 let's give the people what they want, OK? 161 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,000 It's an alternative penis 162 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,760 and the most effective way 163 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,520 to solve getting rid of the smell of the penis... 164 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,400 ..is to wash them. 165 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,000 (EXHALES) 166 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,680 I feel like I just wasted two minutes of my whole life 167 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:19,960 and I can't get 'em back. 168 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,680 Meisha! 169 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,360 Wow. Tracey? Um. Why are you here? 170 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,480 I was in the area. Oh. OK. 171 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,640 We normally wait 5-7 working days before we get back to people... 172 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,400 I just wanted to know, should I start buying clothes like what you wear 173 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,520 'cause this is beginning to feel like a bit of a lucky charm, 174 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,600 you know what I mean? 175 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:45,800 OK, um, would you say that working in sales is unnatural for you? 176 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,360 Meisha, you know I used to work in a corner shop. 177 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,760 Look, I can't do Wednesday, OK? I'm project managing a dildo. 178 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,520 OK, unfortunately you haven't been selected for the next phase. 179 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,360 Thank you so much for your offer, really, 180 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:01,760 but I'm gonna have to decline. 181 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,280 I'm sorry, I'm just looking for something a bit more... 182 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,520 Good luck though, and thank you. 183 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,920 You can go. 184 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,720 Um, but I work here. 185 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,600 I don't care. No, but I'm an employee. 186 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,560 Go over there, then. 187 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,800 There. 188 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,000 I thought you definitely stood out. 189 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,720 Which is, you know... (SNIFFS) ..important. 190 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:34,720 They're going to hire the daughter of the boss's friend, 191 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,240 they always were, I don't know why they even bother with recruitments, 192 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,360 it's all about who you know. Yeah, well, I don't know anyone. 193 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,720 Stepping stones, and all that. 194 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,880 So listen you up for coming to a work thing tonight? 195 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,000 Posh do, swarming with execs, worth your time? 196 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,440 No, I didn't get the job. 197 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,960 Ahh, I'll sneak you in, stepping stones, and all that. 198 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,000 Will...will Big Boss be there? 199 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,200 I dunno if he'll be down with this kinda shit 200 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,880 but he'll be there, for defs, so whaddo we say, is that enough? 201 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,680 Well, what's that...what's that for? 202 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:04,760 Mainly cocaine. 203 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,120 I think Ned and Harry are partial to a bit of MDMA, 204 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,560 a bit of the old 'mud-muh', so maybe chuck that in for good measure 205 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:12,120 but mainly the cocaine, you know? What's your number? 206 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,680 M-my phone? Yeah, yeah. 207 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,040 My old dealer got arrested or murdered or something. 208 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,680 It's really quite sad, and quite inconvenient but hey. 209 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:21,680 Old...dealer? 210 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:24,200 Oh, fuck a dog, my suit's ready. 211 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:28,680 Look, gotta dash. Great work today. 212 00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:30,800 Here's my card... 213 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,720 ..see ya at krunck o'clock. 214 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,320 Yeah, OK. 215 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:39,280 216 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,400 217 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:43,040 He give me the cash and now I think I got a drug seller. 218 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,840 So you'll be their new friend with the cocaine? 219 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:45,880 Yeah. 220 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,200 Now, can I just carry it in my bag 221 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,320 or should I eat the cocaine and then poo it out when I get to the hotel, 222 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:52,520 I've seen that on TV. 223 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,200 I don't know, I don't do cocaine, I'm black. 224 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,640 Oh, you don't know Noah? I've heard he's a drug lord. 225 00:10:58,640 --> 00:10:59,880 No-one knows Noah. 226 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,040 That's why he's called that, he's a mystery bruv. 227 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,400 OK, well, you know what, I'll just pop down there. 228 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:08,520 "Pop down"? This isn't a mini mart, you know? 229 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:12,080 He's a gangster, he's got tattoos all over his face, blad. 230 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:15,840 This innocent Bangladeshi immigrant, he had this Pizza Palace leaflet, 231 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,120 he put it through his letter box, do you know what he did to him? 232 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:21,000 Yeah, I'm already terrified, Candice OK, I'm already terrified. 233 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,840 He ate the nose off his face! 234 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,800 I understand, OK? 235 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,640 But I come this far, if I stop now, I mean... 236 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,440 ..I might as well die. 237 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,600 If I'm not back by midnight, call the police, 238 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,040 and tell my mother I love her. 239 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,640 That I was trying to life the life she dreamed of, 240 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,880 that I was just trying to step on the stones. 241 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,800 No. 242 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:43,520 No, you're not going alone. 243 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,320 I'm coming with you. Thank you. 244 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:47,920 Listen, bitch! 245 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,560 We tell him what we want and we never look him in the face. 246 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:53,600 Keep your eyes to the fucking floor, Trace. 247 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,960 No, not now. Sorry. 248 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,280 This man is a beast. 249 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:03,040 He can and will kill you where you stand. 250 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,160 Banoffee's always a hit and miss so if you don't like it... 251 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,280 Noah, this is superb. 252 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,920 I'll show ya, it's my own recipe. 253 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,400 Shut up! 254 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,600 Excuse me, sir? Can we have the drugs, please? 255 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,440 Oh, gosh. Have I not...? 256 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:28,160 Noah, you're lovely. 257 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,080 (WHISPERS) What the hell? 258 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,680 I know, blad, and he's giving me the recipe. 259 00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:36,880 Right, cocaine in here, 260 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,680 MDMA in here, 261 00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:42,200 speed and MDA, 'cause you've both been a treat. 262 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:46,080 Let's run, run, run! C'mon! 263 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,680 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 264 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,280 No, absolutely. 265 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,400 (PHONE RINGS) Oh, excuse me. 266 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,600 Yeah. TRACEY: Hey, Josh, I'm outside. 267 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,080 (WHISTLES) 268 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:05,760 Excuse me. Excuse me. 269 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,880 (BRIGHT FUNKY MUSIC) 270 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,040 MAN: Not too much, you bellend. 271 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,000 You don't want any do you? 272 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,920 Nah, nah, you know, I had some for...for breakfast, for lunch. 273 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,720 I am... I'm stuffed. 274 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:26,880 Sweet. Sweet. Yeah. 275 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,960 (SNIFFS) Oh, pleasure doing business with you. 276 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,600 A toast to our new working relationship. 277 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,920 Oh, OK. 278 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,720 Er, I mean, I haven't actually seen Big Boss yet, 279 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,960 who's going to give me my hours, you know, like...? 280 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:44,200 Um... I...I've already told Meisha that I'm doing a dildo thing... 281 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,080 It's not gonna happen overnight, is it? 282 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,760 Stepping stones and all that. 283 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:52,400 (SNIFFS) Oh, Tracey, I am fucking pumped. 284 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:53,680 Chin-chin. 285 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:55,600 Um, yeah, OK. 286 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:56,920 Yeah. 287 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,480 (SNIFFS) Mm. 288 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:03,360 Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. 289 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,440 That is disgusting. 290 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,280 You've finished the whole thing. 291 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,760 Ah... 292 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,400 ..yeah, there's a little bit of backwash, if you, ah, want it? 293 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,320 Oh, fuck all the dogs. 294 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:19,600 Yes, well, I...I didn't know there was anything, ah, in there 295 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,240 so it was totally, like, n-n-not my fault. 296 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,480 Not mine neither... And, er, stepping stones. 297 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,000 Stepping stones. 298 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,040 Well, it was very nice to meet you. I like ya. 299 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,400 (UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC) I really, ah, do. 300 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,080 MAN: She's drunk the whole thing! 301 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:39,880 (MUSIC STOPS) Yeah! (LAUGHS) 302 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,600 OK, then I'll come with you guys. (LAUGHS) 303 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,760 ESTHER: Sexy ladies, queens, princesses, 304 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,760 you are about to experience the night of your fucking lives, 305 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:55,280 better than any Ann Summers party... (ALL CHEER) 306 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:59,440 a special...presentation. Whoo-hoo! 307 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,640 Well, ho, ho, ho, it's fucking Christmas! 308 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,520 Oh, Jesus. 309 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:07,200 (GENERAL CHATTER) 310 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,160 If you could just check... Meisha. 311 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,800 Tracey. You're here as well. 312 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,120 Yeah. Why? 313 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,280 It's hot in here. Josh snuck me in. 314 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,840 Josh? I thought you had a boyfriend. 315 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,360 (GLASS SMASHES) Yeah, um, I do. 316 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:24,760 My mouth is dry. Oh, I bought Josh the cocaine. 317 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,000 Isn't that how you got the job as well? 318 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,600 No. I... 319 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,240 ..I think I've been a bit silly. 320 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:33,880 Well, that's disappointing. 321 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,800 Meisha, I just wanted it so badly. I was desperate, yeah. 322 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,360 I was desperate, Meisha. Tracey... 323 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:39,720 ..people like us, 324 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,360 we have to be twice as alert. 325 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,800 Opportunities are never just gonna be handed to us on silver sp... 326 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,160 What are you doing? 327 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:53,640 Have you taken something? 328 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,560 OK, come with me, you need to get out of here. 329 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,840 (FANFARE PLAYS, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 330 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,400 Ooh! 331 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,800 (DRIVING MUSIC PLAYS) 332 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,960 (BACKGROUND CHEERING NOISE FADES) (CLAPS) 333 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:20,000 Isss Big Boss here. 334 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,840 Big...mon. 335 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,440 ESTHER: Fucking hell, I'll tell you what, 336 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:31,240 I've had more fake orgasms than I've had Cornish pasties. 337 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,400 And I've had a lot of Cornish pasties. 338 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:38,160 Honestly, though, most times I just want to be alone and ride pillow. 339 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,840 Ride it, ride it, ride it. (ALL LAUGH) 340 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,880 Oi, the worst one, yeah, 341 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:46,720 is, "How many times did I make you cum?" Like make me? 342 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,440 Yeah, yeah, as if they give it to ya. 343 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,240 I mean, I might climax if you stop generically pounding my arse 344 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,560 like hammer on a nail. 345 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,520 Some of the stuff I've seen men get off on, 346 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,480 I'm like, "Are you fucking delusional?" 347 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,160 They are delusional, they are. 348 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,920 "Ah, baby, you gonna squirt for me one day?" 349 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:04,280 Them bitches in them videos are pissing, it's just piss. 350 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,400 Like actual urine. 351 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,760 Them girls are lucky, my fudge is as dry as a fucking Ryvita. 352 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,520 Nan! (ALL LAUGH) 353 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,760 BIG BOSS: Where there are no goals, there is no hope. 354 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:21,720 Where there is no future, there is no future. 355 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:27,160 Winsley Cosmetics is the future and I am so...proud of... 356 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,320 Yeah. 357 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,720 I'm Tracey and I wanna say a few words. 358 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,960 I used to wanna be in you lots gang. 359 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,520 (CHOIR SINGS EXULTANT SONG) 360 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,520 But now I see this lifestyle for what it really is, 361 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,080 it's just greed. 362 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,400 It's just money! 363 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:53,000 Wouldn't you rather have friends and people that love you? I would. 364 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,840 Instead of a bunch of people who judge me. 365 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,880 I mean, none of you know what I am capable of. 366 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,520 None of you know me, you just think you do 367 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,840 and it's pathetic the way you judge me. 368 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:04,520 It's pathetic. 369 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,320 But at the same time 370 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,280 I do really feel like we really get on. 371 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:13,760 (CHOIR STOPS) I donwha gwan? Shayamade. 372 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:17,000 I go innin hoe now. 373 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,000 Isshi, shaad... 374 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,080 Ho, Big Boss... 375 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,840 Eebeeboh, ah, wow. No, no, no... 376 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,080 (GASPS) Oh, my God. 377 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,040 Tracey... Mmm? 378 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,520 Tracey, Tracey. Mmm? 379 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,880 You're having a bad trip. 380 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,840 There's gonna be an attack. 381 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,520 Uh, there's gonna be a terror... terrorist attack, the biggest... 382 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,200 ..listen to me, because this is important. 383 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,760 It's NOT the Muslims... 384 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,840 ..it's the people of Scotland. 385 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:50,000 All the CCTV is in the mosques so we're never gonna catch them... 386 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,480 No. You need a cab. 387 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,680 (BRIGHT FUNKY MUSIC) 388 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,400 Kiss me. OK... 389 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,040 You didn't...! 390 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,080 Yeah. 391 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,800 Ladies and gentlemen, the highlight of the evening. 392 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,640 Candy's Chocolate Cockatoo! 393 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,320 (ALL CHEER) (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC) 394 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,120 Jesus! 395 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,120 Yes! Oh, my God. 396 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,040 (ALL LAUGH) 397 00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,960 Whoa! What's wrong with you? They're used, man? 398 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:01,480 (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) 399 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,720 They're used? Oh! 400 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,520 Oh, the shame. Oh! 401 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:08,840 Are you taking the piss? 402 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,280 I want my tenner back. Stick your dildo. 403 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,800 An absolute shame. 404 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,680 Disgusting. Disgusting! Oh. 405 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,520 Can you imagine it? 406 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,000 Seriously? 407 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,200 TRACEY: Home... 408 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,120 Wow! 409 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,320 Iss like a palace. 410 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,240 Iss tall. 411 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,080 Bricks... 412 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,760 (GASPS) Stairs. 413 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:45,080 Stepping stones. 414 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,840 You're amazing. 415 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,680 Oh, you guys are so...so amazing! 416 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,200 (GASPS) Mummy. 417 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:58,760 (CHOIR SINGS EXULTANT MUSIC) 418 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:18,880 I love you. 419 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,800 I know I've never said that before but... 420 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,560 ..I do. 421 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:31,160 Mamacita. 422 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,760 (BURBLES) 423 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,400 ..fekking never mind. (LAUGHS) 424 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,200 (HUMS) (BABBLES) 425 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:54,160 Keegmay nemissune tune. Keegmay, keegmay, keegmay... 426 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,080 Keegmay...keegmay... 427 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,680 Oh, kegma... De mistu on keeg bombcha. 428 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,080 Satan will not prevail. 429 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,600 Oh, minions of Satan I command you, leave her! 430 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,280 Exit her, erupt through her mouth. Ah! 431 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,400 Oh, so sick. Leave her body! 432 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,000 Exit it, erupt through her mouth. (GAGS) 433 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,920 Hallelujah, hallelu... (RETCHES AND VOMIT) 434 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,680 Vile demon. 435 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,760 Oh, it's nice. (GIGGLES) 436 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,760 Ooh. (SHIVERS AND BABBLES) 437 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,520 There we go. Yes, OK, bye-bye. 438 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:33,600 Bye-bye. Bye. 439 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,800 440 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:41,320 441 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:45,400 442 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:49,120 443 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:55,240 444 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,960 445 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,160 Captions by Red Bee Media 446 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:05,640 Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation